The Chef.
I've been on a couple dates with him in the past month and in that month I have had a change of heart.
I don't know what is happening to me. He is just so....
so wonderful. I know my Karma can't be this good.
For Valentines Day he took me to the fancy restaurant he works at. Well the Thursday before V-Day. He had to work. But my god did I feel special. Honestly this is the first guy I've ever known that I feel like he respects me.
Not that I usually do anything to earn a mans respect.
But I'm changing that. I'm getting help. Not literally. Just holding my self more accountable. I;m not going out every night to bars and meeting people. And I am not casually flirting with whoever I want. I'm changing. I am going to become a one man woman dammit.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Pennsylvania heart throb
Oh man.
I've done it again.
I will call him...The Novelist. Because he is technically published. And his work is good.
He is coming to visit at the end of March. We've been talking on FB for a few days now. Ironically enough a guy I met on OKCupid introduced us via Facebook. Its weird I know.
He's amusing. Makes me laugh. And my god is he ripped.
This can either end great for me or like any other hot romance, burn brightly and then fade away. We had a whole banter via photo comments on a picture of mine. It got rather dirty with all the innuendo. Rather amusing. And he works night shifts as well so I at least have someone to talk to which is nice.
I'll keep you updated.
I've done it again.
I will call him...The Novelist. Because he is technically published. And his work is good.
He is coming to visit at the end of March. We've been talking on FB for a few days now. Ironically enough a guy I met on OKCupid introduced us via Facebook. Its weird I know.
He's amusing. Makes me laugh. And my god is he ripped.
This can either end great for me or like any other hot romance, burn brightly and then fade away. We had a whole banter via photo comments on a picture of mine. It got rather dirty with all the innuendo. Rather amusing. And he works night shifts as well so I at least have someone to talk to which is nice.
I'll keep you updated.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Weatherman
You know what I hate. Men who start drama.
The Weatherman is one of those. He is this 27 year old guy here in Salisbury who fancies himself a rock star. Granted he has one hell of a voice. Enough to make a gal cream her pants. But he is an asshole.
I suppose deep down inside girls like guys who are jerks. In this case why this one doesn't have ladies lining up I have no idea.
I admit this is mostly my fault. I was warned about him. But I suppose a few too many beers and an overwhelming curiousity got the better of me.
My friend was right. He does have a small penis. Couldn't keep it up either. He blamed it on the booze, so I suppose that is a valid excuse. Though I didn't see him drink too much...
Anywho, I am not a gal that kisses and tells. Okay, I at least don't name names at least.
I suppose he targeted me because he knew I slept with his friend Lucky Charms. I couldn't help it. Straight out of Europe and cute as a button. I think he was just seeing if he could though. Same with the Weatherman.
Says a lot about me I suppose.
But here is thing thing. I have no problem admitting I love sex. I'm safe about it so why isn't it okay if I have sex with who I want when I want? Men do it all the time right?
I've been with a few guys who say they respected that. Now if they actually do is left to be decided. I think after a while they realize that I am a person they are not used to and their minds, along with everyone around them, tells them that how I live my life is wrong. Obviously I am a terrible person because I sleep around.
It doesn't make me terrible person. It makes me human.
The Weatherman is one of those. He is this 27 year old guy here in Salisbury who fancies himself a rock star. Granted he has one hell of a voice. Enough to make a gal cream her pants. But he is an asshole.
I suppose deep down inside girls like guys who are jerks. In this case why this one doesn't have ladies lining up I have no idea.
I admit this is mostly my fault. I was warned about him. But I suppose a few too many beers and an overwhelming curiousity got the better of me.
My friend was right. He does have a small penis. Couldn't keep it up either. He blamed it on the booze, so I suppose that is a valid excuse. Though I didn't see him drink too much...
Anywho, I am not a gal that kisses and tells. Okay, I at least don't name names at least.
I suppose he targeted me because he knew I slept with his friend Lucky Charms. I couldn't help it. Straight out of Europe and cute as a button. I think he was just seeing if he could though. Same with the Weatherman.
Says a lot about me I suppose.
But here is thing thing. I have no problem admitting I love sex. I'm safe about it so why isn't it okay if I have sex with who I want when I want? Men do it all the time right?
I've been with a few guys who say they respected that. Now if they actually do is left to be decided. I think after a while they realize that I am a person they are not used to and their minds, along with everyone around them, tells them that how I live my life is wrong. Obviously I am a terrible person because I sleep around.
It doesn't make me terrible person. It makes me human.
My night not in paradise
So tonight I hung out my on again off again boyfriend thing, Squishy. I don't know about him sometimes. He is charming, funny, sweet as can be. I just don't have that physical attraction to him.
Why we even started anything I have no idea. We're not dating and I have told him I don't want a relationship. He is fine with that but boy does really want to change that.
I can at least say I have been open and upfront with him
Why we even started anything I have no idea. We're not dating and I have told him I don't want a relationship. He is fine with that but boy does really want to change that.
I can at least say I have been open and upfront with him
Why is this happening?
I've been having a crisis of self lately. Leading a double life will do this to you.
In one I hang out with my group of friends, go to our usual bars and hangouts and in general act like a normal 20 something.
But in the other I go out alone, drink far more then I probably ever should, and make terrible decisions concerning my vagina. Should I have slept with half the men I have? No. Certainly not. I really have no excuse as to why I did other then "Because I can".
And that isn't healthy.
Don't get me wrong, I am always safe about it. Condoms galore. Always have them in my nightstand and if they don't have one then there is nothing happening PERIOD.
So at least I have some scruples ...
In one I hang out with my group of friends, go to our usual bars and hangouts and in general act like a normal 20 something.
But in the other I go out alone, drink far more then I probably ever should, and make terrible decisions concerning my vagina. Should I have slept with half the men I have? No. Certainly not. I really have no excuse as to why I did other then "Because I can".
And that isn't healthy.
Don't get me wrong, I am always safe about it. Condoms galore. Always have them in my nightstand and if they don't have one then there is nothing happening PERIOD.
So at least I have some scruples ...
 |
| I swear I should buy stock in condom companies |
Dr.Wannabe
Dr. Wannabe is a TA at the local university. I call him Dr. Wannabe because he has latched on to this weird artificial idea of what it means to be an English professor. I've known him for about 4 years. In the past year he started wearing sweater vests, discussing bad foreign films, and drinking beer far more expensive then he can afford.
He is also my favorite on-again/off- again booty call.
It all started about 2 years ago in what is admittedly one of the biggest mistakes of my life when it comes to relationships. I slept with Dr. Wannabe despite being in a relationship with someone else, who I will call Ted.
Ted is a nice guy for the most part. I had to end things because I could not reconcile by problems with our relationship. Well that and he was an emotionally abusive man child but that is beside the point. He still has no idea I slept with Dr. Wannabe and both the good Doctor and I want to keep it that way.
Anywho, I got off work Saturday and went over to the Doctors house. That day we were going to grab some beer and watch movies. Sex was going to happen, it was inevitable.
I find myself thinking that the Doctor is someone I truly care for. The problem is I screwed that up by sleeping with him while with someone else. I can never be in an actual relationship with him because our entire sex life started out based on a lie. So he will forever be the man that I know I could have made something beautiful with but never will because of one stupid night of drunken debauchery.
Ladies, when in a relationship with someone DO NOT cheat on them with the person you could theoretically see yourself spending your life with. You will doom it. Also just to be safe, don't dump the guy you are with for this ideal mate. At least give some other excuse and time in between.
After what was surprisingly lackluster sex, we both went outside for a smoke. The cycle began again.
We do this a lot. A tension builds up over a period of time, casual flirting, stolen glances, jokes and innuendo, then BAM! Sex. Then nothing. He can't even look me in the eye.
When we saw each other on the down low it was at the utmost discretion. Understandable.
But now I am still the dirty little secret. I end up being that for a lot of people usually.
He is also my favorite on-again/off- again booty call.
It all started about 2 years ago in what is admittedly one of the biggest mistakes of my life when it comes to relationships. I slept with Dr. Wannabe despite being in a relationship with someone else, who I will call Ted.
Ted is a nice guy for the most part. I had to end things because I could not reconcile by problems with our relationship. Well that and he was an emotionally abusive man child but that is beside the point. He still has no idea I slept with Dr. Wannabe and both the good Doctor and I want to keep it that way.
Anywho, I got off work Saturday and went over to the Doctors house. That day we were going to grab some beer and watch movies. Sex was going to happen, it was inevitable.
I find myself thinking that the Doctor is someone I truly care for. The problem is I screwed that up by sleeping with him while with someone else. I can never be in an actual relationship with him because our entire sex life started out based on a lie. So he will forever be the man that I know I could have made something beautiful with but never will because of one stupid night of drunken debauchery.
Ladies, when in a relationship with someone DO NOT cheat on them with the person you could theoretically see yourself spending your life with. You will doom it. Also just to be safe, don't dump the guy you are with for this ideal mate. At least give some other excuse and time in between.
After what was surprisingly lackluster sex, we both went outside for a smoke. The cycle began again.
We do this a lot. A tension builds up over a period of time, casual flirting, stolen glances, jokes and innuendo, then BAM! Sex. Then nothing. He can't even look me in the eye.
When we saw each other on the down low it was at the utmost discretion. Understandable.
But now I am still the dirty little secret. I end up being that for a lot of people usually.
An introduction
My name is not Lily James. If people knew my actual name then I would be in a lot of trouble.
See I am a sex addict. Or at least that is the only excuse I can give to how I live my life.
I would love to be a one man sort of woman. I really try to. But I can't help the challenge, the chase, and the inevitable reward.
Its caused me some heartbreak I do admit. And probably some damage to my reputation. Or at least it would if it all got out.
In the past 8 years I have slept with 67 men. I am in my 20s. Most of these are from the past 3 years. Thats when I discovered online dating. Bad idea combining a love of sex and the unlimited power of the internet.
On the internet I have cultivated a personality that is based on 50% truth, 30% lies, and 20% sheer audacity. Its worked for me so far surprisingly.
In real life I have to be a little more truthful.
Hell there is a whole group of people at Savor who could call themselves Eskimo buddies.
Squishy
Mid West
Weatherman
Lucky Charms
Cy Young
Savor Waiter
The Nurse
Dr. Wannabe
New York
This is from since about December I think. Maybe November. I need to find a new bar...
See I am a sex addict. Or at least that is the only excuse I can give to how I live my life.
I would love to be a one man sort of woman. I really try to. But I can't help the challenge, the chase, and the inevitable reward.
Its caused me some heartbreak I do admit. And probably some damage to my reputation. Or at least it would if it all got out.
In the past 8 years I have slept with 67 men. I am in my 20s. Most of these are from the past 3 years. Thats when I discovered online dating. Bad idea combining a love of sex and the unlimited power of the internet.
On the internet I have cultivated a personality that is based on 50% truth, 30% lies, and 20% sheer audacity. Its worked for me so far surprisingly.
In real life I have to be a little more truthful.
Hell there is a whole group of people at Savor who could call themselves Eskimo buddies.
Squishy
Mid West
Weatherman
Lucky Charms
Cy Young
Savor Waiter
The Nurse
Dr. Wannabe
New York
This is from since about December I think. Maybe November. I need to find a new bar...
Male Nurses and why every girl should sleep with one
I have this weird habit of getting bored, going to the bar, and then picking up someone. Sometimes I know them. Every once in a while it is a stranger. They don't remain strangers for long.
That reminds me, I need to return the Nurses book.
That one was from Thursday. A bar I'll call Savor here in Salisbury. I met up with Annie for drinks. She was already plastered after a few drinks. It was her and 3 of her friends. Some girl referred to as Shots, a guy I will call Short Mike, and his friend Hot Tattooed Waiter (HTW). As soon as I walked in the door HTW hands me a mysterious green shot and tells me to drink up. Its a good way to start the evening.
After maybe 45 minutes of a hanging out and in general me sitting back and observing the shit show that is Annie, she decides to leave. Probably a bad idea given her state but what am I supposed to do. Short Mike ended up getting her home. She probably slept with him. They on again and off again date.
So fast forward to Annie and her friends leaving to me sitting at the bar at Savor watching Skins of all things on the TV. To my left is a guy wearing a baggy t shirt and a white baseball cap. His arms have what looks to be poorly done basement tattoos on them. I don't bother with that.
To my right however is a rather clean cut looking older gentleman with pale skin. glasses, and blonde hair. Clearly dyed as no man I see that age has hair that lightly colored. Gelled too. I pegged him at about mid 30s and probably recently divorced. He is sitting there talking to his friend, a shorter darker skinned gentleman.
This guy to my right is who is now known as The Nurse.
The Nurse turned to me " Hey do you know anything about British history?"
Myself "Yes enough to get by in a trivia game"
The Nurse " When was Big Ben built?"
Myself " 1859"
Meanwhile The Nurse's friend on the other side of him is checking his phone. I will call him Tony. Actually for all I know that might be his real name. I'm not sure.
Tony " She's right"
The Nurse looks over at me shocked. At this point I know I have an in.
I finally take a good look at The Nurse and notice he is wearing a Tom Waits t shirt under is sweater. This is information I can use. When someone likes Tom Waits enough to own a t shirt, that means they enjoy Nick Cave, Baumbach films, Wes Anderson, and the poetry of the Beat Generation. My specialties. This guy didn't have a chance.
We spent the evening discussing all the things I mentioned above. Some of them he brought up. Anderson and Waits, Nick Cave as well. But I sealed the deal by asking:
"Have you ever seen 'The Squid and the Whale'?"
Ladies if you would like your own pretentious indie wanker to go home with mention this movie. If they know it, you're in, if they don't they will probably fake like they do. Either way you will be seen as intelligent and cultural, even if in reality you are not.
I ended up driving him home. He bought me a pack of smoke at the WaWa up the road near his house. I usually don't let random guys buy me cigarettes or drinks. It means they expect something in return. But I was almost out of cigarettes and with no cash in my pocket this was a life or death situation. Compromises must be made.
Now a little more on The Nurse. He is obviously as his nickname hints at a nurse. Actually a respiratory therapist. Works at the local hospital. 36. Recently divorced ( I am good at calling it). 2 kids...
Yes. 2 kids.
I make a policy not to get involved with anyone with kids. Usually. But this guy is really cute, has an excellent book collection and is really cute. I couldn't help myself.
We watched cartoons on the couch. He made the first move. I wasn't surprised. Not bad of a kisser but nothing to write home about.
Then he took off his shirt.
Not bad. Hairy chest always a plus. I can't help I like a guy who is a little furrier then some.
But in all that gorgeous chest hair is the ugliest tattoo I have ever seen. I believe it was a portrait of his ex wife. I did my best to ignore it but it was like trying to ignore a down syndrome inflicted elephant bounding about a china shop. Impossible.
So I hit the light switch. Problem solved.
I will say this guy looks very nice naked. Squishy bubble butt for the win. I have a weakness for those. I'm used to chubbier guys though so this was different. He clearly keeps in shape. And it wasn't just all the exercise stuff lying around the house that clued me off. Clearly this guy wants to get back on the market.
Which is why I need to return his book. I have this feeling he let me borrow it based on an excuse to give me a call or have me call him.
Something tells me he doesn't keep multiple copies of Bright Lights, Big City around for random girls he brings home from the bar. And if he does, well that is just impressive. Way to increase the literacy rate Nurse.
The Nurse knows what he is doing. Other wise I wouldn't have taken the book. I look forward to seeing him again. He's charming, intelligent, responsible, and good in bed. Now if he just didn't have that ugly tattoo...
That reminds me, I need to return the Nurses book.
That one was from Thursday. A bar I'll call Savor here in Salisbury. I met up with Annie for drinks. She was already plastered after a few drinks. It was her and 3 of her friends. Some girl referred to as Shots, a guy I will call Short Mike, and his friend Hot Tattooed Waiter (HTW). As soon as I walked in the door HTW hands me a mysterious green shot and tells me to drink up. Its a good way to start the evening.
After maybe 45 minutes of a hanging out and in general me sitting back and observing the shit show that is Annie, she decides to leave. Probably a bad idea given her state but what am I supposed to do. Short Mike ended up getting her home. She probably slept with him. They on again and off again date.
So fast forward to Annie and her friends leaving to me sitting at the bar at Savor watching Skins of all things on the TV. To my left is a guy wearing a baggy t shirt and a white baseball cap. His arms have what looks to be poorly done basement tattoos on them. I don't bother with that.
To my right however is a rather clean cut looking older gentleman with pale skin. glasses, and blonde hair. Clearly dyed as no man I see that age has hair that lightly colored. Gelled too. I pegged him at about mid 30s and probably recently divorced. He is sitting there talking to his friend, a shorter darker skinned gentleman.
This guy to my right is who is now known as The Nurse.
The Nurse turned to me " Hey do you know anything about British history?"
Myself "Yes enough to get by in a trivia game"
The Nurse " When was Big Ben built?"
Myself " 1859"
Meanwhile The Nurse's friend on the other side of him is checking his phone. I will call him Tony. Actually for all I know that might be his real name. I'm not sure.
Tony " She's right"
The Nurse looks over at me shocked. At this point I know I have an in.
I finally take a good look at The Nurse and notice he is wearing a Tom Waits t shirt under is sweater. This is information I can use. When someone likes Tom Waits enough to own a t shirt, that means they enjoy Nick Cave, Baumbach films, Wes Anderson, and the poetry of the Beat Generation. My specialties. This guy didn't have a chance.
We spent the evening discussing all the things I mentioned above. Some of them he brought up. Anderson and Waits, Nick Cave as well. But I sealed the deal by asking:
"Have you ever seen 'The Squid and the Whale'?"
Ladies if you would like your own pretentious indie wanker to go home with mention this movie. If they know it, you're in, if they don't they will probably fake like they do. Either way you will be seen as intelligent and cultural, even if in reality you are not.
I ended up driving him home. He bought me a pack of smoke at the WaWa up the road near his house. I usually don't let random guys buy me cigarettes or drinks. It means they expect something in return. But I was almost out of cigarettes and with no cash in my pocket this was a life or death situation. Compromises must be made.
Now a little more on The Nurse. He is obviously as his nickname hints at a nurse. Actually a respiratory therapist. Works at the local hospital. 36. Recently divorced ( I am good at calling it). 2 kids...
Yes. 2 kids.
I make a policy not to get involved with anyone with kids. Usually. But this guy is really cute, has an excellent book collection and is really cute. I couldn't help myself.
We watched cartoons on the couch. He made the first move. I wasn't surprised. Not bad of a kisser but nothing to write home about.
Then he took off his shirt.
Not bad. Hairy chest always a plus. I can't help I like a guy who is a little furrier then some.
But in all that gorgeous chest hair is the ugliest tattoo I have ever seen. I believe it was a portrait of his ex wife. I did my best to ignore it but it was like trying to ignore a down syndrome inflicted elephant bounding about a china shop. Impossible.
So I hit the light switch. Problem solved.
I will say this guy looks very nice naked. Squishy bubble butt for the win. I have a weakness for those. I'm used to chubbier guys though so this was different. He clearly keeps in shape. And it wasn't just all the exercise stuff lying around the house that clued me off. Clearly this guy wants to get back on the market.
Which is why I need to return his book. I have this feeling he let me borrow it based on an excuse to give me a call or have me call him.
Something tells me he doesn't keep multiple copies of Bright Lights, Big City around for random girls he brings home from the bar. And if he does, well that is just impressive. Way to increase the literacy rate Nurse.
The Nurse knows what he is doing. Other wise I wouldn't have taken the book. I look forward to seeing him again. He's charming, intelligent, responsible, and good in bed. Now if he just didn't have that ugly tattoo...
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